Wednesday, December 30, 2009

How to be love

My goal is to live in loving, caring environments (work, home, public places). I learned how to do this through Corporate coach training. When I leave the presence of another person, I want them to think positive thoughts about me ~ helpful, caring, knowledgeable, loving....

What do you want people to think about you? How can you help them get there?

Below I share an exercise that is helping me and others. Give it a try.

John Lennon tells us all we need is love. And at some level we all know this is true but just don't know how to go about it. We face an unloving world the minute we walk out the door. Sometimes it is when our feet hit the ground and someone is complaining in our own household! As we move through our day, we encounter the person who doesn't like the way we drive, how long we take at the checkout, our method of payment. The colleague who hates that we are happy or grumpy or that we get all the great projects. We can not please everyone but we can please ourselves and this is what we are after in this blog. Pleasing our self starts with loving ourselves and then loving those in our life.

Love is our basic nature. When we are love we bring joy and peace to our little corner of the world. And maybe it will rub off on those around us. No guarantees, a little prayer may be needed for some people.

Let's start with a list. List in one column yourself and the people in your life, family, friends, and colleagues. The next column contains the features/characteristics that you like about yourself and the people in your life. The third column contains the features/characteristics that you DO NOT like about yourself and the people in your life.

Here is a brief example. Write it ALL down and be truthful ~ no one but you will see this list
Names -------Likes --------Dislikes
Barbara------funny-------- bitchy
Dumbo-------loving--------big ears
Babar--------family man---green suits
Eeyore-------easy going--- sad~all the time
(a small note about me. I love elephants because they are so powerful and strong yet the most loving, caring animals on the planet. Did you know an elephant will "mock charge" you to let you know that it does not like that you are near it? Would a lion do that? Would some people?)

Use this list as the tool to invoke more love in your life. When you are with one of the people on your list and they are sharing the feature/characteristic that you do not like, turn your focus on the feature/characteristic that you like. It is amazing how much more patient and loving you will be with this person. It really works.

For those people that you have not listed, the random person in the car or grocery store line, try imagining what could be likable about them. There is someone in the world that has love for them. Wonder what that person may see in this person to love them. And worst case scenario~ always remember that God loves them even if no other human can. What does God love about this person?

We all have our unlikable characteristics. It comes from our beliefs and experiences in life. Some formed when we were young and we may not be aware of them.

You can take this exercise to the next level by asking the people in your life what they like and don't like about you. Use this information to change what you can that is not liked and enhance what is likeable.

December 2010 will be here before we know it~ so let's give this exercise a chance and see what we can accomplish in such a short time. Write your comments, experiences, outcomes right here and share this with everyone you know.


Barbara